City Council Passes Strict Basement Show Regulations

In response to the city’s growing music scene, Philadelphia City Council yesterday passed a new set of rules to legalize and tax basement shows.

The law defines the legal differences between basement shows and house shows, as well as adding a 8.5% tax to a venue’s profits.

City Councilman William Greenlee says basement shows have been operating in a black market, and deserve to be taxed just like a large corporation.

A free permit must be obtained for any venue hosting a house or basement show. To qualify for the permit, venues must be cash-only, include at least one punk act, and sell shitty beer. Shows are only permitted in West Philadelphia.

The city will employ undercover auditors to sneak into shows and check for offenders while rocking to some sweet jams.

The law goes into effect on Monday.